Verizon Wireless Does Not Want Me to Have a Cell Phone

This is the true story of how I spent almost an entire day attempting to purchase a cell phone from Verizon and was thwarted at almost every turn.

Background:  

• My lovely Motorola Droid went missing 4 days ago (Last seen on my desk at work.  It's somewhat incomprehensible that someone took it, and yet it's no where to be found).  
• The phone is 7 months old and I am 7 months into a 2 year contract
• I do not have the insurance 

At first I could hardly believe the phone was gone and was of the opinion that the phone would re-appear.  However, I deactivated the day it went missing just in case.   While on the phone with Verizon, they sadly informed me (well sad for me, not sad for them) that because I did not have insurance and I wasn't yet eligible to upgrade my phone for the reduced (ahem.. sane) amount, I would be paying full retail price to replace the phone.   The Motorola Droid's full retail price (last Tues.) was $529.   Let's just say there is no way on God's green earth I would be paying $529 for a phone.   The representative then mentioned it would be possible to purchase a pre-owned Droid for a far more reasonable, but not thrilling $280.  I specifically asked him:  could a pre-owed phone be purchased in a store (that way I wouldn't have to wait for shipping).  He replied yes, but not all stores may have the Droid pre-owned in stock.  Fair enough.  Because I really hoped the phone would show up, I declined this nice offer to purchase the pre-owned phone.    



The following day, the phone did not appear.  I sadly reactivate my old, complete piece of crap, non-smart phone just so I have a phone.



That night I went to a 'Verizon Kiosk' at BJ's just to look at the phones.  In my (I now realize delusional) mind, I was thinking if I could buy a Droid pre-owned, I could by other phones pre-owned.. perhaps a Droid Incredible.   I look at the phones, I chat with the salesman... explaining my situation.  He, also, informs that I will have to pay full retail price. He also mentions that the Droid 2 is coming out the very next day.  Interesting.. I had no idea.  Can I see one?  No.  They are in the kiosk, but can't be unveiled until the following day.  Then I ask him if he has any pre-owned phones.  He says, oh no... not at the kiosk.  You will have to go to a Verizon store.  I gaze up at the large Verizon sign above us, but let it go. 



2 more days go by and the phone does not appear.  My co-workers have been trying to find me deals, but nothing interesting has come up.  It's Ebay or the $280.  Ebay makes me nervous:  do these phones really work?  Are they stolen?   What if it breaks later?   The prices on Ebay hover in the $200 - $250 range.  Not enough savings to make losing the Verizon warranty worthwhile to me. 



So today I step out on what I think will be a quick errand to an actual Verizon store to see if they have any pre-owned phones.   I arrive in the store, explain my plight.  They look me up in the computer and tell me I have to pay full retail price.  Really?   He says this is a 'small store', so they do not have pre-owned phone, but a larger store would. He looks it up in the computer and says that he can order me pre-owned Droid for $280.   I decline this because I'd really rather find a store with a pre-owned phone so I can ditch the piece of crap today.



I then call a few Verizon stores.   None of them seem to have pre-owned phones.  I'm sensing a pattern here.  I don't think these stores have pre-owned phones at all (or there is a demerit for selling them).   This is when I start to get irritated.



I go out to my car and decide to just call Verizon wireless and order the pre-owned phone.  By the way, you can not order pre-owned phones online for some reason.   I call explain my story again and am again told I will have to pay full retail.  So I say when I last called, they said there was a possibility of buying a pre-owned phone.   I am put on hold for a long time.   The rep returns and says:  I'm so sorry, but the Droid isn't part of our pre-owned program.  Umm... say what?   I inform him that I was just in a store and they told me they could order a pre-owned one for me.   He asks what store and I tell him.   I am put on hold once again.  He returns and says no, the store was mistaken.. they must have been looking at an old list.   Could they really be this disfunctional?   The rep continues and says the only phone available is the Devour and something else I'd never heard of.   Hmm...  I reply:  well, I guess I'll have to buy it on Ebay then.   The rep coughs and says: oh!   Let me look on one more list. I'm on hold one more time.   He returns and still says no (but really, if there was another list why did he wait until I threatened Ebay to look at it?).   I say ok.. bye.    As I was sitting outside an Apple store, I began calculating how much it would cost to just ditch the Verizon contract and buy an iPhone, even if you can't really make calls from it.   Sadly, this was cost prohibitive.



So I decide to just buy the cheapest possible smart phone because I refuse to give Verizon any more money than necessary. I already know this is the LG Ally and I know the phone is $369 on the Verizon site.   I refuse to return to the first 'small store' I went to because I don't want to reward them for giving me bogus information.   The was a Best Buy near by, so I went to their Verizon kiosk.  I walk in and quickly look at the phones.  The LG Ally was a remarkable $499.  My mouth hung open.  How stupid does Best Buy think people are?  $130 more than Verizon charges?   The usual pushy Best Buy sales person approaches me and asks if I need any help.  My mouth still open, I just glare at him and he backs away slowly.  I storm out of Best Buy. 



The only Verizon like store near by is the kiosk at BJ's.  Yes, the very first place I went 3 days prior.  I don't want to reward them, either, but now getting late and I'm beyond irritated.  I cruise in.  I really just want to see if the LG Ally is $369 there or if that is an online price.   Naturally, the same employee is there.  He says to me:  finally ready to buy?   How does he even remember me?   He then, bizarrely, tries to sell me on a net book.  I say:  that is somewhat large for a cell phone, yes?    The LG Ally is indeed $369 there, so I say I will take that.   He looks me up in the computer and says:  oh, you have a contract.  Yeah, we can't sell you anything full retail if you have a contract.  We can only sell to people who are starting new contracts.  You need to go to a 'large store'.  Is this a joke??   I told you my situation 3 days ago!  You said I have to buy full retail.  You didn't say I couldn't do it at your kiosk.   Why did he spend 20 min. trying to sell me something the first time I was there??   How does one know which stores are 'large'.   I'm beginning to think there is no way for me to actually buy a phone from Verizon while in my situation.



I briefly consider going to a place called 'Wireless City' near my house, but as they are merely an 'authorized reseller' I have doubts about whether they can do anything for me, plus when I had trouble with my charger a few months ago, the told me my only option was to buy a new one which was completely false.



I return home and just order online.   Of course the site times out and I have to start the order again.  After I submit the order, I notice it appears as if it made my contract month to month (because who else would be paying full retail price)?    How much do you want to bet that somehow that goes through and they bill me $350 dollars for ending my contract?? 



I have no optimism.  This is the same company that nearly pushed me over the edge with internet access issues. See my rant on that one here.



** Update **
20 min. after I finish writing this post, I received an email from my credit card company that they believe the charge to Verizon is fraudulent. It came through as "Phone Service". Maybe I'm just not meant to have a phone, period.

** Update 2 **
Thinking about this a bit more, there is a possibility that the Droid 2 coming out when it did may have impacted the availability of a pre-owned Droid. The Droid is no longer available for sale anywhere. Not that anyone from Verizon told me that. If they had mentioned that the launch of the Droid 2 a mere day away would mean I could no longer buy a Droid when I first spoke to them on Tuesday, I probably would have bought it then. Since on Weds. I could buy a brand new Droid, but on Thurs. I could not there must be new Droids in boxes in stores all over the place. If you're not going to sell them to the public, why can't I buy one for a reduced price? The timing of this is something that could only happen to me. Just like when my laptop died 3 days before Vista came out and there was literally not a laptop to be bought until the date Vista launched. The torture of having an early Vista machine, I will spare you.

** Update 3 **
When my credit card company sent me the email saying they thought the charge was fraudulent, I called them up and said: I charged it, put it through. Over 48 hours later I received an email from Verizon saying the order was on hold because my credit card was declined. Are you fucking kidding me? My level of irritation is off the charts. Who screwed up: the credit card or Verizon. In either case, why did it take 48 hours for them to inform me of this? So I bought a Droid on eBay.. I'm nervous about it, but I just can't give Verizon any money right now.

More Proof I'm Insane

Amongst my Twitter travels I encountered someone working on an #iTunesZero project.  The point being to listen to all the songs on your iPod at least once.   My eyes grew large.  YES!  I should do this.  I often feel guilty seeing the play count for my music as blank, 0 doesn't display in iTunes, blank.. null.  Music should be loved, not sitting on a hard drive with 0 plays. 

Here where this idea intersects with crazy:  my iTunes library includes 4,853 items for a total run time of 13 days and 52 minutes.   Due to catastrophic hard drive failure last year, I couldn't (or didn't know how to) import play counts from prior to that time.  Result:  there are 3,881 songs that iTunes considers unplayed.   Obviously, this is way.   I listened to many, many of these songs on various iPods and even in other formats in the (gasp) pre-iPod era (yes, youngsters, the iPod did not always exist).

But yet, I still think this is an idea worth pursuing, though it may take me the rest of my life (do you know how long it's going to take me to get through the Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones trifecta?  Do you know how much I am going to enjoy doing so?).   So for a couple of days I've been plugging in the iPod to my Bose iPod dock (just a plug because I love this toy so much, well worth the money) and start playing my smart playlist (where plays = 0).   So far I'm loving this project because it's an amazing walk down memory lane, but I'm also learning a few things: 

- I own music I had no idea I owned
- Stevie Nicks had a really bad, cocaine fueled, not reigned by Lindsay Buckingham, period
- I'm not sure the Wallflowers were ever really necessary
- Faith Hill holds up remarkably well
- I had forgotten how brilliant Aimee Mann is
- I should spend more time listening to Billie Holiday
- Tori Amos has an entire record of cover songs that I apparently bought, but have no memory of
- Counting Crows:  all that 90's angst.  Cheer up already.   Yet, it's still fantastic stuff
- There are some songs I really don't ever need to hear again and I'm getting them off my iPod
- I could listen to Buffalo Tom every day. 


Because I've been using shuffle play so far, it's a crap shoot what I've heard so far, so this is all I've got for you, but I'm fascinated to see how this goes.

Survival of the Fittest?

Today I finally got around to reading the latest issue of The Atlantic (one of my favorites despite changing it's name from the Atlantic Monthly and moving from Boston to DC - why?!).   The cover story's hysteria of course jumps out:  The End of Men (How Women are Taking Control of Everything) by Hanna Rosin.   A tad dramatic, The Atlantic.  But after all, this is the magazine that prints Caitlin Flanagan diatribes fairly regularly.   Perhaps they feel the need to balance out her desire to stay home and allow a man to take care of her with someone who feels that the patriarchal society may be coming to and end.

As a female in a male dominated industry who just today discussed survival of the fittest with her male colleagues one of whom was of the opinion that in other species, the male must be the colorful one to attract the females and wasn't he glad in the human species it's the women who must attract the males, I was intrigued by this article. 

It turns out society's been changing:  from industrial based to information based (newsflash!), and men are not adapting.   More women are going to college and graduate school (to the point where schools may be starting to skew admissions decisions in order to keep the male to female ratio at least 40/60).   And

The attributes that are most valuable today—social intelligence, open communication, the ability to sit still and focus—are, at a minimum, not predominantly male. In fact, the opposite may be true. Women in poor parts of India are learning English faster than men to meet the demands of new global call centers. Women own more than 40 percent of private businesses in China, where a red Ferrari is the new status symbol for female entrepreneurs. Last year, Iceland elected Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir, the world’s first openly lesbian head of state, who campaigned explicitly against the male elite she claimed had destroyed the nation’s banking system, and who vowed to end the “age of testosterone.”

And then there was what may be my favorite paragraph I've read this year:

Up in the Air, a movie set against the backdrop of recession-era layoffs, hammers home its point about the shattered ego of the American man. A character played by George Clooney is called too old to be attractive by his younger female colleague and is later rejected by an older woman whom he falls in love with after she sleeps with him—and who turns out to be married. George Clooney! If the sexiest man alive can get twice rejected (and sexually played) in a movie, what hope is there for anyone else?

Shouldn't the hope be that he grows up or at least grows as a person and learns to live in his new world?  

The article's hypothesis seems to be that women are looking at the men and thinking:  if the men can't provide for them and their children, who needs them?  I'll call my own shots and be very happy doing it, thank you very much.   The article doesn't seem to draw any conclusions about what all this means or where we go from here, but I say Men:  the gauntlet has been thrown down.  Man up.  

The Things We Leave Behind

I leave things everywhere.. just ask anyone who knows me, especially my co-workers.   Find a water bottle?  Mine.   Notebook?    Mine.   Bag?  Mine.   You get the picture.   

Saturday morning I took my usual trip to the gym.   When I got there I noticed a pair of shoes sitting under a bench in the locker room.   Oh, I thought.. I have those same shoes, then I trotted off to step class.   Later that day I got to thinking about those shoes and that I hadn't seen my pair of those shoes in a while.  You can see where this is going.  I complete a search of my house and surprise, surprise, I can not find those shoes anywhere.   I decide not to go back to the gym, but just to see if they are still there on Sunday.

Sunday I rush in to Spin class and the shoes do not enter my mind once.   Later that night I think of them and realize I'm a jackass.  

Monday night I arrive for Step once again and the shoes remain under the little bench (does this locker room never get cleaned?).   I'm 100% positive these are my shoes, but I want to try them on to be sure.   However, there are other ladies hovering around.   I don't want it to look like I walked in, saw shoes under a bench and decided to just try them on to see if they fit, then take them.  So I wait around for a little while til no one is around.  Try them on and just like Cinderella, they are a perfect fit.   My shoes can now come home with me.  

Only then do I start thinking about when I could have left the shoes there.  I had been at the gym the previous Tues. and Weds.   But Weds. I wore a skirt which would have required shoes other than the shoes under the bench.   So Tues.  Almost an entire week those shoes sat under the bench and no one took them.   Astounding really.   

Ok, this story seemed a lot more interesting when I was thinking about writing this than how it seems now that it's in black and white.   

My Secret Dream Car...

I got to see it today... isn't it a beauty? 

The Weekend Blues

I'm not sure which brought my weekend down more: the water situation or the Red Sox.

we haven't come all that far apparently

So I'm having a tampon emergency and I run into a convienence store. I stare at the 1 wall of personal items near the front door. Everything under the sun is represented: aspirin, cold medicine, KY, every form of condoms, pregnant tests, something called a 'probe cover' (??), but no tampons. I look for several minutes thinking this just can't be right. Finally, I ask. Oh, they are in another aisle in the back.... with the detergent. What does this mean? That we need to be clean? That probe covers and KY can be up front, but tampons hidden in the back?

Insane.

Is it wrong...

I've been mercilessly mocking Hot Tub Time Machine... but in a way, I want to see it... is that wrong?

I love John Cusack... though I'm worried about his career if he felt this 'film' was a good option.

happy. day

On a day which allowed me the privilege of watching a basketball team that I love win decisively to reach the Sweet 16, who would have thought the greatest thing I'd watch on TV would be the vote on healthcare reform. It may be a flawed bill, but it's a step in the right direction, like social security and Medicare before it. Thank you Obama, Ted Kennedy, Congress and C-span for allowing me to see the day.

Yes, we can!

Bank of America: wtf?

What is worse: that they broke in and damaged the wrong house or took the parrot?

Children by the million sing for Alex Chilton...

RIP

Healthcare: It's the right thing to do

Every time I read stories like this: Is any illness covered?, I wonder more and more how anyone can think healthcare reform could be wrong. How can we prioritize profits over life? HOW CAN WE?

How can you think that a health issue won't happen to you.. that you'll never need help? If healthy, how can you deny the less fortunate, healthwise. It goes to who we are as a country. I goes to who we are... think about it.

Something really odd is happening in the south...

Health Care as Dire as Yankee War of Aggression


If Health Care Passes there will be a civil war?

I just don't understand... why do these people think healthcare is a bad thing. If it's so bad, sign something that says you'll never use Medicare when you're eligible.

Is it me..

or did Seth Davis looked a little peaked after the Kansas loss?

Not me.. that Northern Iowa can get into the Sweet 16 is one of the many reasons I love the tournament.

Anyone else think...

Toyota could be all done? Do you enjoy looking in your rear view mirror and wondering if their is a Toyota there? I do not and I imagine it will affect future purchase considerations for some time to come.

Anyone else think...

Toyota could be all done? Do you enjoy looking in your rear view mirror and wondering if their is a Toyota there? I do not and I imagine it will affect future purchase considerations for some time to come.

I bought...

more frozen vegetables than will fit in my freezer. What to do..what to do?

Guess What?

My jeans seemed too big for me, so I went to the store today to try on new ones.

I'M a WHOLE SIZE SMALLER! A size I haven't been since high school.

Thank you spin!

I'm just ecstatic.

Great Momments in Film...

The woman is on fire:

2 Crazy Assed Topics

Yes, this is my Senator. Sigh.. double sigh. He comes across as an unbelievable moron and a highly embarrassing father.


If possible, find video of the entire show just so you can see the look of horror on Paul Krugman's face when this interview ends.

And then there is this: Apple pulls all books from Macmillian over pricing dispute.
Is that allowed? The implication is that books with the Henry Holt, Tor, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and St. Martin’s imprint are unavailable on Amazon? Read that sentence 1 more time. Doesn't seem as if it should be possible. Perhaps it will help out poor Borders, however.

Being Selfish?

I don't want Tai Shan to go back to China. I love that little butterstick.

Is that selfish?

I Seth Meyers

With all due respect to Scott Brown, this still isn't as big a MA upset as Sox coming back from 3 games down in '04.

Strangely, it doesn't hurt as much as the 2003 ALCS. Though Ted Kennedy will be haunting the people of Massachusetts until at least 2012 and he won't be a fun ghost.

I Seth Meyers

With all due respect to Scott Brown, this still isn't as big a MA upset as Sox coming back from 3 games down in '04.

Strangely, it doesn't hurt as much as the 2003 ALCS. Though Ted Kennedy will be haunting the people of Massachusetts until at least 2012 and he won't be a fun ghost.

Josh Says What We're All Thinking

I don't mean to get ahead of things. But I cannot help noting one blazingly obvious fact. If Michael Capuano had been the Democratic nominee, there's simply no way we'd have gotten to this point.


Mike Capuano is my rep. He should be the candidate. I've sort have been enjoying his silence during the campaign.. because I think it means we'll be seeing him in 2012.

MA residents: get out there and vote tomorrow, Jan. 19, even if the choices aren't the most desirable.

Golden Globes

It's somewhat difficult to enjoy the Golden Globes when you haven't seen most of the movies and tv shows nominated. I feel culturally out of it. At least I've seen the Jersey Shore.

Did they hand these ribbons out at the door?

OMG.. Julia Roberts is going to be in the movie version of Eat, Pray, Love? ugh..

Avatar? This is a movie I wouldn't even consider seeing.

Links Du Jour

Clinton Bush Haiti Fund - give now, give often

Why Obama Must Take on Wall St. - Robert Reich

The Biggest Loser - Maureen Dowd on the NBC late night meltdown

How the hell is the MA Senate Race even close?

Really? This Mitt Romney clone with no clue is close to the seat held by Ted Kennedy? Flabbergasting.

VOTE on Tuesday 1/19.

Move Your Money

How dumb do these banks think we are? Do what you can to protest by moving your money.

Of course, I would like the banks to embrace this sense of mutual responsibility. So far, though, they have ferociously fought financial reform. The industry has even joined forces with the opposition party to launch a massive lobbying campaign against common-sense rules to protect consumers and prevent another crisis.

Now, like clockwork, the banks and politicians who curry their favor are already trying to stop this fee from going into effect. The very same firms reaping billions of dollars in profits, and reportedly handing out more money in bonuses and compensation than ever before in history, are now pleading poverty. It’s a sight to see.

Those who oppose this fee say the banks can’t afford to pay back the American people without passing on the costs to their shareholders and customers. But that’s hard to believe when there are reports that Wall Street is going to hand out more money in bonuses and compensation just this year than the cost of this fee over the next ten years. If the big financial firms can afford massive bonuses, they can afford to pay back the American people.

Unhappiness at the Happiness Project

I think the definition of irony could be people pushing, shoving, asking others to move, being unable to shut the fuck up and in general complaining that they couldn't see or hear when watching Gretchen Rubin discuss her book, the Happiness Project (especially considering the implication of a packed house that people need a little more happiness in their lives).   

p.s. the book and related blog are fantastic!

I'm Going to the Jersey Shore, B*tch

Ok, let’s get real.   Actually I don’t think the word ‘real’ should be used in any sentence referring to the new MTV series The Jersey Shore.  I’ve never seen anything like it and it’s taken me a couple of weeks to figure out what I think about, which basically boils down to:  Holy Moly!    For the entire hour, the bubble above my head says:  did I just see that?

Things I have learned: 

-         New slang:  smooshing, vibing, pound out, creep (verb), blow out, poof, trashbag,

-         Booty shorts aren’t necessary meant to be worn under clothes

-         Duck phones exist

-         It’s ‘more classier’ to wear a thong bikini rather than a bra and a thong into a Jacuzzi

-         Moms need to get their tan on, too

-         Fist pumping is a dance style

-         It’s not cheating if it’s done to house music

-         How to handle it if you’ve got two potential sets of people to hook up with (escort the ‘classier’ ones out)

-         Sometimes it takes five and a half hours to get ready to go out

-         There are guys who spend 25 min. on their hair

-         Bartenders do great things

-         Lobsters are alive when you kill them (ha!)

-         The tanning salon is absolutely required, even in the summer, at the beach, in nice weather

-         Sweatpants are fashionable (sometimes tucked into boots), even in the summer, at the beach, in nice weather

-         Don’t call any of the roommates fat

-         If you can’t find your house, just sleep on the beach

-         Some girls are respectful, like real girls, human beings

-         You need to hang out with some girls a few times before they will hook up with you because they aren’t whores

-         One should aspire to be juiced up and orange

-         It makes sense to introduce someone you’ve been dating for a 2 weeks to your parents

-         Snooki is a real person

-         People will do anything to be on tv (think about this:  Snooki puncher Brad Ferro must have signed a release to appear on the show unpixilated.)

And I’m left wondering about the following: 

-         Imagine what these kids did in their auditions to be selected?

-         Do they realize they are on television (and the internet.. for the rest of time?)  They claim to be very family focused.  Do they know their families will see the show?  While I’m sure they would like to extend their 15 minutes of fame for as long as possible, someday when a potential employer or their children (because I’m sure these people will reproduce, god help the kids) will see these videos? 

-         Is there any possible circumstance where making out on the hood of a car while being filmed is going to make you look good? 

-         Is it possible JWoww got a hold of a do it yourself boob job kit?

-         Is there a 1 fight per episode minimum?  

-         Are they so daft that they will think this behavior is cool?   I’m afraid the answer is yes.   Really afraid

The show is a train wreck and doesn’t reflect well on our culture, yet I can’t turn away.  I enjoy every ridiculous minute.  I will mock these people, but the reality is this is the United States, home of freedom.  Guess what?  People are free to make buffoons of themselves.  That is their business.  What makes me really sad is not the ethnic stereotypes or the so called slur on Jersey, but that we are making celebrities of people solely because they act like idiots.  We are worshipping morons.   Why do we do that?   Is it a distraction?   Does it make us feel better about ourselves (I’m sure my health & beauty budget is 10% of DJ Pauly D’s)?    Most of all I’m sad because I can’t peel myself away from the tv. 

I’ve got to end this now because I feel like eating ham and drinking water.   Ham. 

Get sucked into the nightmare Thursdays at 10 on MTV (or pretty much any other hour of the day in repeats).

New Day, New Year, New Decade

I'm starting fresh with a new blog with a new name, but from a familiar source. Yes, my old blog had approximately a million posts and comments, but it's run it's been dying a slow death and frankly the path has petered out.

This is my do over, do better, whatever. I hope you enjoy.